Banking for the modern evil enterprise

Whether you run a covert weapons lab, a shell company with 40 subsidiaries, or an entirely legitimate employment agency for unusually short workers, our corporate team keeps your treasury organised, your payroll flowing, and your structure suitably opaque.

Evil Corp Business Checking

Operating accounts built for enterprises whose revenue occasionally arrives in unmarked crates.

Unlimited transactions, no per-item fees
Role-based access for up to 250 executives
Automated approvals above your "discretion threshold"
Sub-accounts for each front organisation

Open an account

Henchman Payroll & Benefits

Pay thousands of minions in 60 currencies, with automatic deductions for uniforms and "safety training".

Same-day payroll for up to 25,000 staff
Benefits: hazard pay, evil-dental, bonus bananas
Anonymous paystubs if requested
Integration with most minion timesheet systems

Talk to us

Treasury & Liquidity

Put idle capital to work between schemes. Sweep accounts, term deposits and gold storage, all under one roof.

Overnight sweeps into Minion Savings
Term deposits from 30 days to 5 years
Physical bullion vaulting in 7 countries
Currency hedging for international mayhem

Review options

Shell Company Services

Structuring, administration and registered-agent services across a network of jurisdictions that ask few questions.

Entity formation in 40 jurisdictions
Nominee directors and registered agents
Layered ownership for strategic ambiguity
Annual filings handled discreetly

Request a consultation

Mergers & Acquisitions

Hostile takeovers, friendly mergers, and the occasional absorption of a rival empire after their plan fails.

Deal structuring and financing
Buy-side and sell-side advisory
Transitional leadership, if theirs "retired" suddenly
Post-merger integration of lairs and equipment

Start a deal

Project & Equipment Finance

Fund the big build. Progressive draw schedules so your doomsday device never idles waiting for cash.

Milestone-based disbursements
Equipment leases and sale-leasebacks
Vendor payment guarantees
Cost-overrun lines, because there are always overruns

Discuss a project

Villain Wealth Management

Private client for the truly catastrophic

For those whose net worth is best measured by how many islands confuse the mapmakers. Our private office manages, protects and quietly grows the fortunes of the world's most ambitious clients.

Ransom escrow. Held in neutral, guarded vaults until terms are met. We've never lost a payment or a hostage. (One, briefly.)
Bullion & jewels. Physical storage, insured and appraised, in vaults you may visit only by submarine.
Succession planning. Because even evil empires need a line of succession, and heirs are often disappointingly heroic.
Discretionary portfolios. Diversified across sectors that do not appear on any public index.
Bespoke financing. When the scheme is too ambitious for a standard product, we build a product around the scheme.

Corporate Rates

Selected corporate pricing

Facility	Rate	Notes
Operating line of credit	Prime + 2.0%	Revolving, asset-based
Equipment lease	6.10% APR	24 – 84 months
Project finance	7.00% APR	Milestone draws
Term deposit (12 mo)	4.35% APY	Min. $1M
Bullion vaulting	0.40% / yr	Insured, 7 countries

Pricing on application. Larger empires negotiate hard, and we respect that.

Front Organisations

Popular legitimate covers we support

Really Nice Pottery Studio (our personal favourite)
Regional Chain of Unremarkable Cafés
Frozen Yoghurt Franchise With Suspicious Basement
Charitable Foundation for the Ethical Treatment of Sharks
Classic Car Restoration (mostly accurate)

Corporate Enquiry

Speak with our commercial evil team

Enterprise name

Commercial contact

What do you need?

Headcount (including minions)

Tell us about the enterprise

Bank of Evil provides corporate services to enterprises of all sizes. We do not comment on the nature of our clients' businesses, and we encourage you not to either.