Your plan is brilliant. Your financing should be too. For nearly a century, Bank of Evil has funded the lairs, laser arrays and long-game schemes of ambitious masterminds — discreetly, reliably, and at very competitive rates.
Whether you're a first-time world dominator or a seasoned megalomaniac, we have an account that fits your scheme.
Everyday banking for you and your loyal (mostly) minions. No monthly fee if you maintain an evil laugh balance of $1,500.
A high-yield account for stashing gold, ransom proceeds and other liquid assets. Interest compounds while you monologue.
Multi-currency accounts across 40 shell jurisdictions and one lunar facility. Perfect for funds that prefer not to be found.
From a modest schemes to full planetary subjugation, our loan officers have underwritten it all.
Robot armies, weather machines, giant death rays — the classic plot loan, now with a streamlined 48-hour approval for projects under $2 billion.
Volcano. Tundra. Deep ocean trench. Behind a waterfall. We finance lairs in environments other lenders call "insurable."
"My doomsday device was funded in 48 hours. The rate was predatory, which I respect in a lender." — Lord N., client since 2004 (name withheld)
"I asked for a shark with a laser. Bank of Evil asked which laser. That's the kind of bank I want to work with." — A. Evil, CEO of Evil Corp
"They financed my volcano lair through an active eruption season. Five stars. Would subjugate again." — Dr. M., undisclosed atoll
"The Credit Union of Justice turned me down. Bank of Evil turned me up — to eleven." — Anonymous, reformed hero (allegedly)
| Product | Rate | APY | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| World Domination Loan | 6.66% APR | — | Fixed, 5–30 year terms |
| Minion Savings | — | 4.20% | Variable APY, compounds nightly |
| Volcano Lair Mortgage | 7.25% APR | — | Up to 95% LTV on qualifying sites |
| Shark R&D Facility Line | Prime + 3.5% | — | Revolving, interest-only option |
| Henchman Checking | — | 0.90% | On balances over $1,500 |
Open an account in minutes, or speak with a plot loan officer about the scheme that keeps you up at night. (Not the freezing-the-world one. We've discussed this.)